I was ecstatic that he was with who he wanted to be with. I was dealing with my own issues so I’ve never had time to be heartbroken or devastated I just kept going. I knew there was something special about him and he needed to be with this girl before we could ever be together in anyway he had to have this experience with this girl. I knew that deep down & I let go & let it be. I didn’t worry or stress about him & honestly he wasn’t around so he wasn’t on my mind constantly. I never saw him or anything, our interactions were based on us making them happen at this point. I didn’t act like he didn’t exist, he crossed my mind sometimes & even when I didn’t know what was going on with him I could taste him, yes taste (that may be graphic) Sometimes when I have intense cravings for things I can actually feel the sensation or taste of what i’m craving. So it would happen randomly I would taste him it would always throw me off but I never thought twice about it.
I’d like to give a brief timeline now so this won’t seem like it’s all happening in a span of a few months. As I stated in part 1 everything began OUR freshman year of College which was 2010, then 2011 is when I would hear his phone’s text tone, 2012 we didn’t stay in the same dorm but we were close, 2013 we possibly didn’t communicate at all maybe a little but he was pursuing someone else, 2014 we interacted for a brief time & he tells me they had a weird misunderstanding & my mom had a stroke, inconsistent communication still going on. The beginning of 2015 had to be when I told him to call instead of text.
Meanwhile we’re apart. I’m in a relationship with someone it’s awesome sexually but I was lost in life. I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I was probably as big as I had ever been I was depressed & not doing my best. I was in a very dark place and it’s not the person I was with fault. I was just in a really bad karmic relationship. I was consumed sexually and living a delusional life recklessly. Where I am in life NOW made me realize that. I went through so much in that relationship it’s weird that I didn’t feel broken or devastated afterwards I was just glad it was over and I was still alive. I honestly don’t know if I’d be here today if I hadn’t got out of that relationship. The relationship was extremely toxic and I was lost in life w/o a purpose. I still think about the relationship because of the trauma i’ve been left with but overall the relationship brings me so much joy & i’m thankful it happened. I wish I could talk to him again and apologize for my faults and just get an understanding. He’s a wonderful person. I hope he’s doing well and i’m sorry for all the pain I caused. (I was dealing with this person from 2011-2017, he’s the person I “gave” my virginity to)
Ok, it’s 2017 I’m officially done with the karmic relationship but i’m still in it lol. It’s January 2017 & I have this daily prayer thing and I said a personal prayer and the prayer that was for that day. It was exactly what I wanted.
Things started happening, I became very spiritual I found this woman in 2016 on Twitter @MysticxLipstick and she tweeted about astrology I was so interested in it I became obsessed. I soon started studying and becoming interested in other occult things.
Back to 2017 as I start to realize the karmic relationship I was in was ending and I need to tell him … Guess who’s back. Yes you’ve guessed it the special one is back but this time it’s extremely different.
I was still doing my thing with my lil karmic relationship and keeping him out of the picture because I didn’t know how to end the karmic relationship. I slowly but surely started becoming very distant in this relationship. At this point i’m talking to my “twin” consistently and it’s different it feels like we’re being put together because i’m definitely not trying to be with him because i’m dealing with someone else & once we become comfortable and communicate more during this time he starts to vent about his situation with the girl I knew he had to be with before we could be anything. He basically tells me the relationship is over and he doesn’t get certain things dealing with love, relationships and friendships basically questioning everything. We really start to become closer by communicating and spending more time together.
April of 2017 he moves in with me. LISTEN Venus was retrograde at the time and I have no other explanation other than that. I’m still trying to end this other karmic relationship though & he’s getting over the breakup with the girl he always wanted. We’re both going through it but somehow helping each other in the most healing and loving way we knew how at the time & it was basically us just being there for one another. He’s legit trying to make amends with the other girl and yes I’M HELPING. I’m just trying to end this karmic relationship.
.. to be continued.