Purpose

#Poetry

A Brush with Death

A Deer

A Red Light

Asleep

Cars

In an instant

In a blink

existence could cease.

Back stories:

A Deer: I was in the backseat minding my business & out of nowhere a deer hits the side of the car i’m sitting on. I’m thankful the deer didn’t break the window or I might not be here today.

A Red Light: One strange unexpected night he ran a red light (BARZ lol) but yeah he ran a red light & Im thankful i’m here today to write poetry about it.

Asleep: She fell a sleep at the wheel. I’m thankful I wasn’t sleep I was looking at my phone & I looked up & we were about to crash. I grabbed the wheel & yelled her name & kept calm. I’m thankful I’m alive.

Cars: all of these near death experiences could’ve ended my life instantly. I don’t own a car & when things like this happen I question whether I should own a car or trust other ppl to drive.

I’m alive and I’m grateful.

Perception, Perspective, Written Words

The Unknown

Uncertainty is something I struggle with.

Sometimes I think about how you’re brought into this world full of unknown things, but as soon as you begin to “know” certain things you start to “think” you know everything. Therefore you’re comforted by what you know and understand, then intelligence is tested. Ignorance is bliss some say. I say Ignorance is a choice.

I may not know everything but I have the ability to learn and understand others. Faith is important in a world full of unknowns. Being comfortable with the unknown is just as important as being comfortable with what you do know.

Faith is a necessity. Nothing but death is guaranteed. Believe & you’ll receive & what’s meant to be will be.

How do you feel about the unknown? Do you lack faith?

Astrology

Venus Retrograde

During this Venus retrograde I’ve been getting wake up calls dealing with love, finances, & my values.

My Venus is in Libra & I value balance and harmony the most in relationships. It’s hard for me to get aggressive in relationships even though I may want to be, I am very passive aggressive and I rarely speak up about things because of fear of causing discourse. It’s important that I find my voice in relationships & speak up about how I feel & what’s out of balance in my relationships. I struggle with saying NO in relationships as well, I dislike letting people down and disappointing them. I have implemented a boundary with people because I have the right to say no & no one should make me feel bad for saying no or try to emotionally manipulate me into saying yes.

The lesson on love Venus Retrograde is teaching me is about balancing all aspects of my life. Too much of anything can be bad so balance is necessary.

• In relationships i’m learning no one person can be solely responsible for anything. A relationship has to involve teamwork. If someone is doing all the housework & the other person is paying for everything within yourself there is an imbalance & in the relationship there is an imbalance. If you are capable of doing both put forth the effort & let your partner meet you halfway or meet you where you both can find a balance. This can be for intimacy, finances, cooking, parenting etc.

• I’m learning I can’t do everything by myself and I need assistance sometimes. There has to be a balance. I can not be completely dependent on someone and I have to recognize when I need help and I have to ask for it. It doesn’t feel good asking for help because of how high my standards are for myself. I feel like a failure sometimes having to ask for help & sometimes I dig myself into deeper holes by not asking for help or waiting too late. Everyday I’m striving to be the independent person I know I’m able to be. (This is a huge struggle for me)

Affirmation: “I am independent & wise enough to ask for help when necessary”

• Finances, well. I’m possibly like many 20-26 yr olds that are financially illiterate & have no idea how to budget or save. The worst part is not having any money to budget or save and the massive debt following me like a cloud reminding me that even when I get money I owe someone. I struggle with trying to even make a living in this world simply because I believe there are so many unfair things we as human beings should not even have to deal with but that’s a story for a different blog post. I have a job but this is my first time ever trying to budget my cost of living with well… actually living. I’ve become aware that budgeting is extremely important and i’m trying to but I lack discipline and I sometimes have to make decisions like “What is going to get paid & What isn’t?” It’s never a good feeling having things turned off & guess what there is a fee to get it reconnected. I definitely have to stop spending money frivolously & put my priorities first & the rest will fall into place. This retrograde I’ve seen how fast money can be spent for instant gratifications. This is teaching me to buy things of value that can possibly make me money in the future & also to not spend for instant gratifications.

• What are some things you value? Some people value cars, clothes, jewelry, people, animals etc. I’ve come to the realization of how valuable I am to myself.

My mental, emotional, physical health are priorities that I need to take care of if I value myself. I’m able to be the best person I know i’m capable of being when I’m taken care of. When I treat myself like i’m unworthy of love (fuck love) , money (i’m broke), happiness (dwells in sadness) etc it shows mentally, physically & emotionally.

Making changes for the better is what life is about. I may not be where I want to be right now but I will get there with grace, determination, discipline & courage.

I aim for progress not perfection.

Perception, Perspective

PAIN

My mother often said “Pain is good, it lets you know you’re STILL alive” Through experiences I’ve learned that pain to me is a feeling, a sensation of some sort. There is always something that CAUSES pain. Pain can be debilitating if we allow ourselves to be consumed by it or if we ignore it.

We would wander through life aimlessly without pain. Pain is a wake up call to let you know (remind you) that you exist in this dimension. Pain is not always apparent because you have to “FEEL” and acknowledge it as such. Emotional and Mental pain can easily be ignored sometimes due to the fact we don’t acknowledge things that cause of emotional or mental pain sometimes because it may make us feel weak or we may feel embarrassed by the cause. Physical pain in some instances can be difficult for some to acknowledge due to becoming numb to a particular feeling (sensation).

Enduring pain does not make you stronger, It makes you wiser. Pain helps you understand what others may be feeling so we can relate and help one another ease the pain and heal. Pain is the key to empathy.

I dislike that people make pain seem like it does not exist, like it’s all in our minds. If pain wasn’t real we’d all be living a fairytale of bliss. It is important to acknowledge pain. If pain is not real to you, you could possibly be living a delusional life harming yourself and others. Comparing pain is not something anyone should do because it’ll become a game of “Who can endure the most pain”. Knowing the cause of pain is important, so you can adjust and ease the pain and start healing.

There is no opposition to pain, pain is..

Pain is what you allow. Don’t ignore PAIN.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT PAIN?

Written Words

Chaotic Mind

Thoughts sometimes get lost in thin air, but I ground myself with order.

Needs and wants are two very different things. My thoughts aren’t able to roam free in the breeze, I’m in one mindset pleading, trying to breathe. I want to break free and enter my dreams. Meeting my wants and needs while exceeding my desire for balance…

Natural Hair

POROSITY

What’s your hair’s porosity?

Hair Porosity is defined as the ability to absorb and maintain moisture in the hair.

Low Porosity hair can have difficulties getting moisture into the hair. People with low porosity may use steam + warm water to open cuticles so moisture can be absorbed into the hair while the cuticles are open.

High Porosity hair can have difficulties maintaining the moisture in hair. People with high porosity hair may seal their cuticles by rinsing their hair in cool or cold water or blow drying on the cool setting. (sealing high porosity hair with a sealant is extremely important)

 

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