During this Venus retrograde I’ve been getting wake up calls dealing with love, finances, & my values.
My Venus is in Libra & I value balance and harmony the most in relationships. It’s hard for me to get aggressive in relationships even though I may want to be, I am very passive aggressive and I rarely speak up about things because of fear of causing discourse. It’s important that I find my voice in relationships & speak up about how I feel & what’s out of balance in my relationships. I struggle with saying NO in relationships as well, I dislike letting people down and disappointing them. I have implemented a boundary with people because I have the right to say no & no one should make me feel bad for saying no or try to emotionally manipulate me into saying yes.
The lesson on love Venus Retrograde is teaching me is about balancing all aspects of my life. Too much of anything can be bad so balance is necessary.
• In relationships i’m learning no one person can be solely responsible for anything. A relationship has to involve teamwork. If someone is doing all the housework & the other person is paying for everything within yourself there is an imbalance & in the relationship there is an imbalance. If you are capable of doing both put forth the effort & let your partner meet you halfway or meet you where you both can find a balance. This can be for intimacy, finances, cooking, parenting etc.
• I’m learning I can’t do everything by myself and I need assistance sometimes. There has to be a balance. I can not be completely dependent on someone and I have to recognize when I need help and I have to ask for it. It doesn’t feel good asking for help because of how high my standards are for myself. I feel like a failure sometimes having to ask for help & sometimes I dig myself into deeper holes by not asking for help or waiting too late. Everyday I’m striving to be the independent person I know I’m able to be. (This is a huge struggle for me)
Affirmation: “I am independent & wise enough to ask for help when necessary”
• Finances, well. I’m possibly like many 20-26 yr olds that are financially illiterate & have no idea how to budget or save. The worst part is not having any money to budget or save and the massive debt following me like a cloud reminding me that even when I get money I owe someone. I struggle with trying to even make a living in this world simply because I believe there are so many unfair things we as human beings should not even have to deal with but that’s a story for a different blog post. I have a job but this is my first time ever trying to budget my cost of living with well… actually living. I’ve become aware that budgeting is extremely important and i’m trying to but I lack discipline and I sometimes have to make decisions like “What is going to get paid & What isn’t?” It’s never a good feeling having things turned off & guess what there is a fee to get it reconnected. I definitely have to stop spending money frivolously & put my priorities first & the rest will fall into place. This retrograde I’ve seen how fast money can be spent for instant gratifications. This is teaching me to buy things of value that can possibly make me money in the future & also to not spend for instant gratifications.
• What are some things you value? Some people value cars, clothes, jewelry, people, animals etc. I’ve come to the realization of how valuable I am to myself.
My mental, emotional, physical health are priorities that I need to take care of if I value myself. I’m able to be the best person I know i’m capable of being when I’m taken care of. When I treat myself like i’m unworthy of love (fuck love) , money (i’m broke), happiness (dwells in sadness) etc it shows mentally, physically & emotionally.
Making changes for the better is what life is about. I may not be where I want to be right now but I will get there with grace, determination, discipline & courage.
I aim for progress not perfection.